Funny Ways People Have Died Eating
PIGS
THE FEAR: They're just waiting to attack.
This probably goes without saying: I'll never forget when that pig bit me in the face. I had been bitten by a German shepherd before, so I knew what it felt like to have animal teeth in me, but the way that pig tore so firmly into my cheek made a more lasting impression. I have taken delight in eating bacon since.
"I like pigs," Sherrie Webb told me when I called not to ask her whether pigs are killers but to warn her that they are. She's the director of animal welfare for the National Pork Board (pork.org) and an obvious pig apologist. "They can be quite friendly," she said. You poor doomed woman, I thought.
The CDC keeps exhaustive statistics about how Americans die. Unfortunately, the swine clearly got to the CDC, too. Killer pigs fall under a broad "contact with other mammals" category, which means they can blame cows for their crimes. There are countless stories of people being eaten by pigs, including an Oregon hog farmer whose dentures were all that remained of him. Police couldn't determine whether the farmer died from natural causes and was eaten or was murdered and eaten. I know.
"At least in the domestic herd, pigs aren't overtly aggressive," Webb said. I was about to question her credentials when she added: "Pigs explore using their nose and mouth. They might chew on their pen mates, but I'm not sure that's blood-motivated."
She made the case that pigs are like us. When they feel threatened, they will try to escape but might also fight back. Happy pigs make low, contented noises. Alarmed pigs squeal, and that's when humans should start assessing their own behavior and its possible consequences. "Treat pigs well and with understanding," Webb said, "and they're not any more dangerous than any other mammal."
I thought back to that pig whose hot breath I can still feel in my nightmares. I swear I didn't do anything to earn his bite. I was only trying to castrate him.—Chris Jones
FOOD REHEATED IN PLASTIC CONTAINERS
THE FEAR: Microwaves pull chemicals out of plastic and into your food.
Bisphenol A (or BPA) is an additive in hard, clear plastic, including most takeout and food-storage containers. When you put those things in the microwave, the heat created causes BPA to leach into your food—and, thus, into you. One National Institutes of Health study of rats found that high levels of BPA exposure "during pregnancy and/or lactation can reduce survival, birth weight, and growth of offspring early in life, and delay the onset of puberty." That same study, however, pointed out that the exposure necessary to achieve those results was "far in excess of the highest estimated daily intake" of BPA. Although the FDA maintains that the amount of BPA in everyday plastics is safe, there is no consensus on the long-term effects.
ODDS OF DEATH: Use a real plate.
SCRATCHED TEFLON PANS
THE FEAR: Bits of Teflon will migrate to your food and poison you.
One of the main chemicals used to make Teflon, perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA), can cause various cancers and reduce fertility in lab animals. But the high temperatures used to make your pans completely remove PFOA. In fact, the American Cancer Society says there are no known risks to eating food cooked on Teflon pans. What you do need to worry about is letting the pan reach too high heat. The fluoropolymers in Teflon start to break down at 500 degrees Fahrenheit. At around 680 degrees, they release at least six toxic gases, including two carcinogens. Breathing the released fumes can cause respiratory problems and a flu-like illness.
ODDS OF DEATH: Eat your eggs. You'll be fine.
ELECTRICAL OUTLETS
THE FEAR: If you put a fork tine or bobby pin in one of the terminals, you'll be electrocuted.
When you stick something in only one of the terminals, you're not completing the circuit and nothing will happen. But touch the hot terminal and the neutral, say, or the hot and something grounded, and you're in trouble. This is surprisingly common. The National Fire Protection Association reports that 5,500 people went to the emergency room in 2015 with injuries from electrical outlets. A GFCI outlet makes this harder to do, since GFCIs monitor the current leaving the hot terminal and returning through the ground. If there's an imbalance—because some of the current is leaking into you—the GFCI shuts the current off in as little as one-thirtieth of a second. GFCIs aren't foolproof, though. If you touch the hot and neutral conductors at the same time, they won't register a discrepancy and you'll get zapped.
ODDS OF DEATH: Painful, not fatal.
DESICCANT PACKETS
THE FEAR: The silica gel packs in shipping containers all say "Do not eat," so they must be deadly.
The American Association of Poison Control Centers documented 33,705 desiccant exposures in 2010, 89 percent of which occurred in children younger than six. Presumably none of them died from poisoning, since silica is chemically inert and nontoxic. The real danger is children choking on the packets.
ODDS OF DEATH: slim after puberty.
DOCKED BOATS
THE FEAR: Boats plugged into power at a dock or marina could electrify the water.
This happens, rarely, when there's a fault in the grounding system. If the current moves to the water, it can freeze a swimmer's muscles and lead to drowning. William Burke at the NFPA estimates that there are five to 15 such cases reported each year.
ODDS OF DEATH: Send the dog in first.
GETTING PUNCHED IN THE NOSE
THE FEAR: The right angle can send bone fragments into your brain.
Although the American Academy of Family Physicians reports that approximately 40 percent of facial trauma injuries are broken noses, very few, if any, of those result in death. The nasal bone is short and relatively far from the brain. Driving it into the brain would essentially require caving in the entire front of someone's skull, and most human fists can't do that. What can kill you are complications from a broken nose, such as a septal hematoma—a collection of blood within the septum that could become infected—or damage to the cribriform plate that separates the nasal cavity from the skull and is very thin, which can result in an infection in your brain.
ODDS OF DEATH: Very low. lower if you buy The guy a beer and apologize.
GETTING HIT BY A CAR
THE FEAR: When cars battle people, the cars always win.
The pursuit of automotive autonomy has been a boon for safety, and has led to features such as automatic braking and lane-departure warnings becoming common, even in less expensive cars. Along with driver safety, manufacturers are focused on making collisions with pedestrians less lethal. Which is good, considering that, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in 2013, 4,735 pedestrians were killed in traffic accidents, and another 66,000 were injured. New safety features include rounded edges, sloping hoods, a lack of hood ornaments, and the following.
1. Detection systems: Front-facing cameras, typically equipped with night vision, and radars are getting good at identifying humans on foot—or skateboards, or bicycles. If a collision seems imminent, flashes alert the driver or the car automatically brakes.
2. Engine gaps: New cars have at least 0.8 inches of space between the engine and the hood so that the metal can flex, absorbing impact without the victim's hitting the hard engine.
3. Pop-up hoods: Some companies, such as Buick, are adding active hoods. When the car detects a collision with a pedestrian, the front hood angle increases, so it's raised in the rear to soften the landing.
4. External airbags: Volvo V40s in Europe come standard with external airbags, and Subaru has developed a similar system. When V40s detect a collision with a pedestrian, they deploy airbags from the front bumper and the gap where the hood meets the windshield.
ODDS OF DEATH: Improving.
LAKE PARASITES
THE FEAR: Swimming in lakes can get you a brain-eating amoeba.
There is an amoeba that can live in warm freshwater. It's called Naegleria fowleri, it is indeed dangerous, and it exists in the United States (typically in the South). After entering through the nose, it can cause an infection that destroys brain tissue and results in death in more than 97 percent of cases. But it's also extraordinarily rare: The CDC reported only 37 Naegleria fowleri infections in the United States between 2006 and 2015.
ODDS OF DEATH: So much less than that of the rope swing.
TOASTERS
THE FEAR: Fishing bread out of the toaster with silverware might electrocute you.
The Consumer Product Safety Commission estimates that the average number of electrocutions from small household appliances between 2007 and 2009 was seven a year. And that includes more than just toasters. But it's still a bad idea. "A toaster is designed to not have anything except toast in it," says William Burke, division manager of electrical engineering at the NFPA. That attempt to dig out a broken piece of Pop-Tart risks giving yourself an electric shock and possibly a burn. Even if you thought ahead and unplugged it to remove those risks, there is still a chance you could damage the toaster, which could start a fire the next time you use it.
Odds of death: so small.
SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN WITH A CUT
THE FEAR: Your blood will attract sharks.
An average of 82 unprovoked shark attacks occur worldwide each year, and only 7 to 9 percent of those attacks are fatal. Sharks are attuned to all kinds of bodily fluids, says George Burgess, director of the program for shark research at the Florida Museum of Natural History. But detection doesn't necessarily lead to pursuit. There are, as they say—especially if "they" are well-meaning aunts and you've been recently dumped—many fish in the sea. Plus, there's nothing particularly attractive about human blood. If you've got just a small scratch, there's not much cause for alarm. If you're streaming blood, however, it's probably best to get out of the water.
ODDS OF DEATH: Much lower after you get that blood-streaming cut checked out.
GETTING SHOT
THE FEAR: Bullets do irreparable damage to your insides.
If a major organ or blood vessel is hit, you better hope your will is up to date. A 1998 study found that less than 10 percent of people shot in the heart will survive. Only 5 percent of the approximately 20,000 people shot in the head each year live. Bullet wounds to most of the rest of your body—80 percent of it—are typically nonfatal.
ODDS OF DEATH: Even if you don't die, it's not going to feel good.
LIGHTNING
THE FEAR: Being struck by lightning will kill you.
According to the National Weather Service, over the 30-year period from 1986 to 2015, only 10 percent of the people struck by lightning in the U.S. died. That's an average of 48 lightning fatalities each year. If you're stuck outside during a storm, crouch low to the ground with your heels touching and your head between your knees. You want to become as small a target as possible.
ODDS OF DEATH: only Slightly higher than being sent back in time in a D e Lorean.
UNAPPROVED GASOLINE CONTAINERS
THE FEAR: A container without the proper features may not prevent static electricity from causing a spark.
OSHA requires that fuel containers have flash-arresting screens, spring-closing lids, and a spout cover to prevent spillage. Your old milk jug has none of those things. It also has little chance of creating a spark. Between 2010 and 2016, the Petroleum Equipment Institute, which tracks such things, had zero reported incidences of fires caused by static-electric discharge.
ODDS OF DEATH: T iny.
ACCIDENTAL STABBING
THE FEAR: Any knife could end up being the one that kills you.
As a kid, I was afraid that I'd die in one of three ways: car crash, werewolf attack, or accidental stabbing. The first is justified, the second, probably not, but it was the third for which people mocked me. When I saw a knife, I always thought, That could go into my stomach and kill me. Even now, when my wife twirls around kitchen knives and I keep a wide berth, she says, "Why are you so afraid?"
Ordinary people get stabbed accidentally all the time. In 2014, an Oklahoma man fell out of a hammock while whittling and stabbed his beloved four-year-old nephew. In 2010, an Alabama woman accidentally stabbed and killed her brother while she was doing dishes.
As a man who lives in permanent knife-terror, I will never whittle for fun, so getting stabbed in the hammock probably won't happen. But I do the dishes every day. So I just want to say to my wife, the steak-knife cavalier: Be mindful, and always hand me the knife handle first while I'm emptying and loading the dishwasher. That way, I can safely assume I'll survive another day. Assuming there's not a full moon.—Neal Pollack
PLUGGING IN AN APPLIANCE WHILE YOUR HANDS ARE WET
THE FEAR: Moisture will transfer the current from the plug to you.
Each year, an estimated 500 to 1,000 deaths are caused by electrical injuries. Since most water contains impurities and conducts electricity extremely well, and electric currents tend to flow where there is the least resistance, they will usually go through that water—and into you—if the opportunity presents itself. Plus, wet skin has a lower resistance than dry skin. You could get a fatal shock to your heart.
ODDS OF DEATH: Dry or die.
THE HOSPITAL
THE FEAR: Being in the hospital exposes you to more—and more virulent—bacteria.
Being in the hospital does increase your risk of catching something, says Dr. Amesh Adalja at the Infectious Diseases Society of America. But microorganisms are everywhere, he says, and the increased risk of visiting noncontagious patients is negligible. "The world teems with bacteria," Adalja says. "There's really no way to avoid them." Patients, however, should be cautious. There were an estimated 722,000 healthcare-associated infections in U.S. hospitals in 2011 (the most recent data), resulting in an estimated 75,000 deaths.
ODDS OF DEATH: Encourage friends to use those convenient hand-sanitizing stations.
MICROWAVE OVENS
THE FEAR: Microwaves emit radiation that can cause cancer.
There are two types of radiation. Ionizing radiation, like that emitted after a nuclear explosion, displaces electrons and can affect the actual chemistry and function of an ion. That's the bad stuff. If it interacts with our DNA, says Jerrold T. Bushberg, clinical professor of radiology at the University of California, Davis, it could cause precancerous tumors. Nonionizing radiation, however, like the kind microwaves emit, deposits energy by vibrating quickly between positive and negative poles. That vibration produces heat that warms your food. The safety standards for microwaves are set far below a level that could cause tissue damage in a human.
ODDS OF DEATH: Go ahead and hover while you wait for that Hot Pocket.
CELLPHONES
THE FEAR: The radiation from cellphones might cause cancer.
Like microwaves, cellphones give off nonionizing radiation—the safe kind. Although it doesn't have the protective metal mesh that keeps microwaves from escaping, your phone gives off less than 1 watt of energy compared to 2,000 to 3,000 with a microwave.
ODDS OF DEATH: we still don't trust them.
POWER LINES
THE FEAR: The electromagnetic fields around power lines can give you cancer.
A study published in 1979 found that kids with leukemia lived closer to high-voltage power lines than did healthy children, but it was refuted in 1995. The threat is if a live power line comes down. Otherwise, you're fine. The electromagnetic fields given off are both non-ionizing and extremely low frequency—even lower than that of cellphones.
ODDS OF DEATH: It's worse for property value than your health.
DRIVING IN HEELS
THE FEAR: Loose shoes impede your ability to use the pedals.
There are plenty of possible issues: Your shoe can get caught in the brake pedal or fall off and get stuck behind it. Your wife can catch you. Flip-flops are just as bad. If you can, avoid wearing any kind of loose shoe while driving. Or go barefoot. It's not illegal.
ODDS OF DEATH: Put them on when you get there.
X-RAYS AT THE DENTIST'S OFFICE
THE FEAR: Lead vests don't protect your head, arms, or legs.
"The lead vest is mostly for patients' psychological comfort," says Dr. Bushberg at UC Davis. Dental X-rays are highly focused. The photons pass through your jaw and the sensor to create an X-ray image. They have little chance to go where they shouldn't. In fact, the hygienist doesn't need to leave the room. If you're still concerned, Bushberg says, ask for a thyroid shield. That's the only organ that might be exposed during the X-ray.
ODDS OF DEATH: You should be more worried about flossing.
SOLAR FLARES
THE FEAR: Bursts of electromagnetic radiation that emanate from the sun during solar flares will take down the power grid.
Standard-issue solar flares are too small and too far away to have any noticeable effect on Earth. But coronal mass ejections, a separate phenomenon, can drive geomagnetic storms, which can temporarily interfere with high-frequency communications and could also affect the power grid. According to Bob Rutledge of the Space Weather Forecast Office at the National Weather Service's Space Weather Prediction Center, significant CMEs occur sporadically. The most recent big events were recorded in 1859, 1921, and 1989. Repairs to the grid would be arduous and costly but, as for physical risk, it's minimal. Specialists monitor space weather closely. Because a CME can take a day or more to reach Earth, there'll be ample time to redirect power loads, get airplanes back on the tarmac, and download enough podcasts to get you through it.
ODDS OF DEATH: You'll be fine. it'll give you a chance to read a book.
ELECTROMAGNETIC PULSES
THE FEAR: Rogue nations could create the equivalent of a coronal mass ejection (See "Solar Flares") and use it as a weapon to devastate our power grid.
Electromagnetic pulses come in three phases: E1, E2, and E3. E1 and E2 pulses range in the ten thousands of volts per meter. Although they can give small-scale equipment trouble, the grid is generally safe. An E3 pulse, however, is similar to a geomagnetic storm and can be caused by a nuclear detonation in the air. Since we can't predict an EMP, we can't shut down the grid in preparation. The long-term effects could be devastating, overloading the power grid and causing an extended breakdown in infrastructure.
ODDS OF DEATH: Best if you don't make eye contact with North Korea.
RAW OYSTERS
THE FEAR: Oysters caught in the summer months are exposed to more heat on the boat and develop bacteria.
Although raw oysters can contain Vibrio—a bacteria that causes 500 hospitalizations and 100 deaths per year, according to the CDC—especially after the water in them warms up, your getting it is not very likely. Industry standards require that oysters be put on ice within minutes of being caught. Even in the summer.
Odds of death: Not worth considering.
BEING ELECTROCUTED BY ART
THE FEAR: Using a 2,000-volt transformer to etch wood will kill you.
My brother, Mickey, and I always like to remind each other that there are old pyros and bold pyros, but few old bold pyros. Even so, I've tested thermite, painted the floors with contact explosive, and even created a mushroom cloud of fire over a lake with stove fuel. None of that has terrified me as much as making Lichtenberg figures. Of all the stupid things people do on YouTube, these wood carvings are among the stupidest. They're made by hooking microwave transformers, which emit more than 2,000 volts at high amperage, to pieces of wood with electrodes. You're basically carving with lightning, and it will very easily kill you. (Seriously. Don't do it. Touching any part of the system could connect the circuit through you. Then you're dead.) After watching other people's videos since the trend popped up a few years ago, Mickey and I ignored common sense and decided to try it too.
Since wood is a poor conductor, it first needs to be soaked in water and baking soda. After tacking small nails at each end of the planks to attach the electrodes, we get far, far away. For safety, before we plug in the transformer, we carefully make sure that we are not near anything. Not the table, the transformer, the wood, the wires—anything. Only then do we give it power. After a couple of seconds, the burning begins, causing spectacular sparking and open flame, leaving branch-like char across the treated wood. Mickey says the art is in the evaporation. As the solution dries up, he posits, resistance increases and the burn has to move elsewhere. The fractal meandering pattern results from the electricity's search for the path of least resistance. After powering down the transformer, we scrub off the ash and dark residue to leave a gorgeous—but deadly—work of art.—Dan Dubno
BAY LEAVES
THE FEAR: They are poisonous.
As a child, I looked forward to my mother's spaghetti the same way I looked forward to my favorite '80s sitcom actors performing trapeze routines on Circus of the Stars. If no one I love dies tonight, I'd think, this is going to be a real treat.
The source of my dinnertime anxiety was the Mediterranean bay leaves my mom added to her sauce and subsequently retrieved in a panic. She knew the relatively boring dangers—that they're rigid and a choking hazard—but due to the doggedness of her pursuit, I came to believe something else entirely: Along with adding flavor to jarred ragu, bay leaves were deadly poisonous if ingested. Her running narration while hovering over the simmering pot with a slotted spoon crystallized my fears: "No one taste anything yet! There's still one leaf unaccounted for! I put three in this time! Bring me the flashlight."
The threat neutralized, we ate, never speaking explicitly of the bullets we'd dodged, though my sister and I came to embrace the risk almost giddily. Next time we might not be so lucky—one of us facedown in a bed of capellini, the other snagging a second piece of garlic bread.
I was 30 when I finally learned the truth while watching a cooking show, and I thought back to at least one occasion when I'd prepared to induce vomiting after finding a green fleck in my vegetable biryani. I called my mom. She laughed at me, but I think she was flattered. Spaghetti Night had always been an act of faith, and I remained steadfast, her hungry little idiot.—David Walters
EVERYTHING
THE FEAR: If you aren't careful, anything can kill you. And it will.
When I tell my mother that she's made me afraid of everything, she beams with pride. In her view, instilling me with fear continues to be one of her most important jobs as a parent. I can't plunge to my death in a small plane if I never get in one. I can't break my wrist falling on black ice if I stay indoors after every snowstorm. Last summer, on a weekend visit, she called me back inside when I'd left her house for a morning jog without putting on the bear bells she'd bought for me. After 30 years of banning any of us from the grass in her backyard (the ticks!) she finally relented—right after she replaced it with tick-resistant mulch. I'm not as big of a scaredy-cat as she is (I hid the bells in the mailbox until I got back), but I have learned to view most things in life as potentially dangerous. This has made me miss out on some exciting opportunities, like flying to the Alaskan bush in a prop plane to watch bear fish from the riverbank, which my husband did without me. But on the plus side, I'm also not dead.—Meryl Rothstein
This appears in the July/August 2017 Popular Mechanics
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Source: https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/health/a26876/weird-ways-to-die/
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